Harry Lee there is probably nothing that is new to you here. It is my hope that some of it might resonate though.
JIMMY HAZARD
Would you like to change something in your life?
Would you like less confusion or more clarity; maybe less turmoil or more peace of mind. Perhaps you live with more fear than is comfortable for you; fear of illness or of financial difficulty Maybe you are afraid that you wont get what you feel that you deserve in life.
I believe that you can begin now to take a step toward more peace of mind, more freedom and confidence.
It will require that you become conscious of your mistakes and fears, to recognize their presence and then to address them one by one. It will be helpful to accept that you are probably where you are as the result of every decision that you have ever made
Perhaps you allowed for others to influence you but you probably decided. Maybe you have factored in the opinions of your family or friends or society but you probably made your decisions.
Next, it might be a good idea to accept responsibility for your decisions. The job that you have, the relationship that you are in are ones that you chose. You decided. Maybe now you regret having made a decision but please accept responsibility; try to not blame anyone else.
The good news is: If you got yourself into a difficult situation you can begin to get yourself out.
Shortly I will address how you can begin to contemplate how to address your problems and to begin gaining more self confidence. I will address things that you may already know and perhaps a few you have not yet thought of.
My life now includes almost total freedom from worry, doubt, sadness and confusion; anger is present but it is diminishing. Also, I still experience guilt for past actions but it too is on the wane.
Of course this freedom is due in large part to my longevity. I have been fortunate to survive long enough to learn how to live in peace with myself and with almost all others.
Another mitigating factor is that I do not have to work. I survive on a small social security check. Also, there is no one in my life who needs me so I am free to offer to share the gifts of clarity, tranquility and simplicity.
People of all ages, gender and ethnicity have told me that I changed their life with my counsel. Although it has been nice to hear, I know that I changed nothing; that I had reminded them of something that they already knew and that they must now begin the work of living what they now see with clarity.
I am aware that not everyone will find my way to be relevant or helpful but I encourage you to read what interests you and to ignore that which does not.
First, I offer the following brief and factual account of my life history. Limitations of time and of space make it difficult to share a true autobiography but I hope that the following will suffice for now. If my history does not interest you please skip it and get to what does interest you.
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I was born in 1944 during World War II. My father had escaped his alcoholic abusive home in Indiana and enlisted in the United States Navy. My mother, born in Cambridge Massachusetts, was the eldest of ten children born to an alcoholic and physically abusive Italian immigrant and his wife.
Three years after my entry to this world my beautiful brother Joseph was born afflicted with severe cerebral palsy, a condition which is characterized by rigidity of the limbs, spasticity of the muscles and curvature of the spine. In those days there were two options available. Give the child to an institution to be warehoused until death or to raise the child at home. Although mom was not an affectionate woman by nature my beautiful brother Joseph became the focus of my mother’s life. Twenty four hours a day seven days a week. After Joseph she had some love for my dad; after Joseph and Dad there simply wasn’t any left for me. I received no expression of love or approval or guidance from either parent and grew up feeling sad, confused and unloved. Why did other families seem so gentle and loving? Why not me? Maybe I don’t deserve it. Maybe I am just broken. The church spoke of original sin. Maybe my original sin was such that I had to pay for it forever. At the age of eight I felt that I was doomed to a life of disappointment. I remember viewing a movie about a circus which had suffered a disaster and the circus folk decided to put on a show in spite of their misfortune. During the parade scene there was one man wearing a jacket with a torn sleeve. I knew that if I had been in that parade that I would have received the torn jacket.
I passed my youth being told by frustrated teachers that I was highly intelligent but needed to focus more. I was a class clown, probably to get the attention which was lacking at home. I was happiest when I was at the beach and would dream of being a beach bum.
I began to notice that TV ads didn't speak the truth; also the government; also, my friends. It didn't make sense to me. Why did everybody lie? Speaking the truth became very important to me.
In 1960 John F. Kennedy was elected president and inspired the nation with his rhetoric: ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.
Kennedy opposed the nascent Vietnam war, was against secret societies and the banking elite. He was murdered.
When the sixties fully arrived with it’s ethos of freedom-sex, drugs, rock and roll, I was like a fish in water. The youth of the country seemed united in their opposition to the Vietnam war. We wanted to smoke weed not to drink alcohol. We wanted rock and roll not traditional music. We wanted freedom not religion.
I abandoned religion first and then god. There was too much suffering in the world to justify believing in a loving and gentle god. How could a loving God allow for war and hunger to exist? How could a merciful God condemn my beautiful brother to a life of pain and misery?
It just did not make sense.
So I availed myself of all the pleasures available.
Within a few years I became addicted to heroin and in order to support my habit I sold heroin to other adult addicts. No non addicts and no kids. Once a young man asked me, "Whattya got, Jimmy?" I looked at him and asked how old are you? "Um...er...21" he said. I asked, "Got an ID?"
He said, "Come on man just give me something". I told him to get away from me.
When I could no longer support my habit by selling I resorted to robbing drug stores using a toy gun. The last robbery that I attempted resulted in my being shot in the chest with a .45 caliber hand cannon by the person I was trying to rob.
While recuperating in the hospital my friend Richie, who was the baddest man I had ever known informed me that he was going to kill the man who had shot me.
I convinced him to not do it; I told him that the man didn't know that it was a toy and had not done anything wrong.
Next I went to prison for twenty one months during the liberal prison reform period which swept the land after the Attica uprising and my sentence passed relatively comfortably.
I got clean and associated with other guys who were not criminal by nature.
Upon my release I returned to drugging but with a commitment to never resorting to crime again.
I married a woman to whom I successfully promised that I would forsake drugs but I took up alcohol as my new drug and became a functioning alcoholic but we're happy for three years. After the births of our two beautiful children we began to disagree and then argue about how to raise the children and about other things. It finally got so bad that I left the house but stayed nearby to be in the kids lives. I would make them breakfast and take them to school.
Free of the relationship and of my vow I returned to drugs I knew no other way to deal with life.
I worked at jobs like youth work in housing projects and driving taxi.which afforded freedom. After years of drinking and drugging I reached the age of sixty two. I asked myself, “What’s next? Seventy? Will you be the world’s oldest alcoholic junkie who tries to live with honor?”.
The possible benefits were far outweighed by the certain misfortunes. So I set a goal: reduce alcohol and drugs.
Week by week I reduced. Month by month. Nine months later, with the help of others. I became clean and sober for the first time in my life. I felt better than I ever had. At six months I began to experience something which I tentatively identified as happiness. It was different from excitement or joy. It seemed to come from within. At nine months I knew. l was happy.
This was what I had seen in others and always wanted to experience.. At one year I knew that this was to be my normal state. All I had to do was to keep doing what I was doing. Don’t drink or drug. I was open to life and bought a van and toured Yellowstone and Yosemite on the way to visit my grandkids in San Francisco. I stopped in Las Vegas long enough to lose $20 at blackjack.
In San Francisco the visit with the boys was beautiful. We played ate and slept together.
Upon my return to Cambridge a friend said "I'm going to Mexico for 10 days on vacation. Would you like to come?"
The first morning that I woke up in Mexico I felt something different . It was better somehow than my normal state of happiness. I came to realize that there were millions of people here with the common strong traits of compassion, respect, patience and love; it was in the air and I could feel it.
I was feeling better day by day.
On the evening of my seventh night in country I was in the large square in the center of Oaxaca City. The square was filled with families strolling, groups of people quietly chatting at outdoor restaurants, music played softly, the arcades were beautifully lit.
Feeling at peace with myself and with the world. I realized at that moment I needed nothing or anyone; that I was free. Sweet tears filled my eyes and goosebumps covered me head to toe. I sat on a low wall to just enjoy the moment and noticed to my left a homeless man lying on the pavement. I said to myself, "I am happy and this man is suffering. What can I do for him?"
I went and bought a sheet, folded it across my shoulder and returned. For the first time in my life I wanted to perform an act of kindness with no ego, no thanks and no recognition. Covering the man without pausing in my stride I continued walking through the crowd with no eye contact, without seeing if anyone had noticed my act. I held an an image of the man in my mind and suddenly I knew with crystal clarity in the depths of my soul that he and I were one. and seeing other folk in the crowd, that everyone is one...and looking up to the stars...that the universe is one; and full with this beautiful knowledge I began to sob, to cry like a child, walking through the crowd.
It was the most beautiful moment of my life.
On day my friend asked if I was ready to go home tomorrow.
I answered, “ No. I'm staying here. This is where I belong.”
He returned to the USA. The next day a new acquaintance told me of a little beach town on the southern Pacific coast with palm trees and cheap food. I had always wanted to live on a beach so I decided to check it out. I took the next bus bound for the market town of Pochutla arriving six hours later and then. rode in the back of a camioneta along the palm lined coast road to Zipolite Beach and soon realized that this was as close to Paradise On Earth as there was likely to be for me. There were the palm trees, the beach was golden sand with powerful waves. The people were gentle. I rented a room on the beach. I was starting to meditate and started to look at my life from different perspectives.
For instance, if I was only a tiny part of everything and of everyone was I sometimes behaving in an egocentric fashion rather than in a harmonious one? Did I sometimes choose to disturb someone because I felt they deserved it?
I resolved to try to stop giving myself permission to disturb anyone for any reason no matter what they had done or said.
With time and practice I have almost eliminated disturbing anyone for any reason.
Also, I was searching for answers to the eternal questions: Is there a god? How did I get here? Who am I? Why am I here? What happens when I die? After much thought I arrived at what for me are sensible and acceptable answers which I will offer to share later in this guide.
Now I live here on the beach for six months and travel in Asia for six months.
Wherever I am I am at peace and I am alert for opportunities to share. Many folk say that they had been waiting all of their loves to hear me. Some have encouraged me to write a book about life. This account is my effort to share with others.
OVERALL VIEWS
I am free of nationalism. For me, a country is a line drawn on a map. I am loyal to no country but mother earth.
I am loyal to people.
I am free of racism. There is one race—the human one. Woman, man , brown, light, gay, straight, trans, non binary, Buddhist, Christian, Jew, Muslim Hindu or other.
I am you and you are me. We are one. I must try to speak to you gently in a way that you would welcome hearing. I try to speak to you the way that I want to be spoken to.
I have no personal god nor religion nor formal philosophy.
I try to speak the truth respectfully to all-friend or enemy.
If I cannot help you I will try to not disturb or to hurt you.
I have children and grandchildren whom I love as I try to love all.
I am free in ways that might be difficult for some to accept or understand.
That’s ok.
We all are on different parts of the way.
I am one of 7.5 billion human beings on this hunk of rock hurtling through space. We are all exactly the same and exactly different. We all breathe the same air. We all are created equal . I believe that we all have a soul: piece of god dust.
My soul is the same as yours and all folk. No one has a soul more more important than mine or yours. This soul makes us all equal.
We all want a better tomorrow. Most of us want more peace. We are all imperfect.
We all decide what to do for our own reasons. How we decide is our way. Selfless or selfish or in between.
Although most of us live our lives as we choose to, many folk are unable to choose their lives because they were born into a life of poverty, repression and hunger. I am conscious of the murder and the rape and the abuse of innocent children and of the starvation and the oppression and the wars and the lies of the leaders, I ask myself, what can I do?
My answer is always the same: Do what you can do. Help someone who you see.
Share with those who have less than you: less food or love or ANYthing.
Share peace and respect. Share the truth as you know it.
Try to BE the change that you want to see in the world.
Try to not judge or criticize others. Judge yourself. Change yourself. Heal yourself and share your healing with those around you.
I can not eliminate suffering from the world.
However, I can try to eliminate my own suffering and try to help others diminish their suffering. I can try to BE the change that I want to see in the World.
A man once said,. “I have my way. You have your way. The right way, the correct way, the only way does not exist.” The ancient Mayans greeted each other with, “I am you. You are me. We are one.”
We ALL are on the Way. The Way is how we choose to live our life.
You have your way. I have mine.
WHY ARE WE SO CONFUSED SO
MUCH OF THE TIME?
I believe that in the womb we were nearly perfectly at peace. . Our little brain was newly formed; its only work was to keep our organs functioning. No worries;. no thought. We were at Peace.. Then came the gentle violence of our birth. First we were squeezed into a narrow canal for hours feeling something different from normal but not thinking anything. Then we were out into a world of light and sound and in that moment perhaps our ego awakened fully and said, "I want the other!! I don’t want this!!" But our little baby brain couldn’t process the idea of “ before”. It only knew of now.
I believe that many of us pass our lives seeking the peace that we had in the womb. We seek it in in people and places and things , in achievement, and acquiring money and belongings. We learn that if we are hungry that we make a suckling motion. We learn to crawl and then to walk. We are told to study at school and find a job; we are told to find a mate and to buy a car and a house. We are told that if we do these things that someday we will be happy and at peace.
Few of us are taught that if we want to be at peace then we must practice peace. We are not taught the value of letting go of unhealthy emotions like anger, worry and jealousy.
No one teaches us that to be at peace we need only to practice peace. That we need to accept our emotions and to try to behave gently in spite of them. To try to behave with respect to all. To share if you can. To try to make amends if you hurt someone. To think of what you have rather than of what you feel that you lack.
These are a few of the ways which can contribute to peace if they are practiced. Some folk are fortunate enough to have learned these things from loving parents. Some learned from others. Many seem to be still searching. If you want more peace I encourage you to practice things which seem to bring peace. It is simple. It will require only the will to heal yourself. It will require that you make an effort but it should be at YOUR pace and in YOUR way. It will be your choice. Practice much and you will make much progress. Practice little and you will make at least a little progress. Practice is the key. Progress today; tomorrow make progress again. Someday, who knows? Maybe perfection.
Meditation is my way to practice peace.
Below I will share my simple, easy and effective way that you can begin to practice gaining peace through the way that I practice meditation.
TWO MAJOR ELEMENTS OF MY LIFE
First, life can be confusing at times. It can seem to be too fast at times. It can seem that we have insufficient control over our lives. Meditation is a way to slow my mind, my speech and my actions so that I make better decisions and take more control of my life. So that I start to have better “luck”.
The second element is comprised of taking mindful action while maintaining consciousness that my actions have consequences. This is much simpler than it sounds. Only read below please.
MEDITATION
We rest our bodies every day. It seems to me to be a good idea to also rest our minds. Our brains work non stop and usually they do a good job but I have found when I rest my mind that I make better decisions. I make fewer mistakes The way that I rest my mind is to meditate.
Meditation for me is different from contemplation. Contemplation means to think about an issue or an idea with the goal of finding a solution.
Meditation is an attempt to clear my mind of conscious thought in order to gain clarity so that my way is clearer.
When I am unable to find a solution to a problem I must step back, rest a moment and return clearer and better focused.
The value of stepping back for a moment is known to us all. For example, if I am engaged in a task like digging a hole to plant a tree and I encounter a large rock that will not yield to my efforts and I become frustrated, I have found it beneficial to stop for a moment, go to a shady spot for a bit and when refreshed, to return to the task with a better way to move the rock or perhaps I will see that the rock is not going to move and I should choose another spot.
When I am frustrated by my inability to reach a solution to a problem I accept that in the moment it is impossible for me to have what I want. I must step back for a bit, to let go, rest and return clearer.
Meditation is a way for me to step back from a painful thought or feeling; from frustration or anger or worry or anything unpleasant. It is a way to clear the mind of conscious thought so that the way to peace can be clearly seen.
It might not provide the will to take action according to what we now see is our way but it will provide clarity. The will to act must come from within. Sometimes we only need to do what we now see clearly, without overthinking.
The way that I practice meditation is simple and flexible.
If you practice meditation now, good!
My way can be incorporated. Anyone can adapt it, change it and practice in their own way. It consists of two simple parts.
The first part is to set my goal;.
The goal for me is to try to find peace. Simple, yes?
My long term goal is to achieve perfect peace and clarity. I might not be able to have it in this moment but I can be a step closer in this moment. I can make progress in this moment. Tomorrow, who knows? I can only try to do what I can do in this moment.
For this session and for all sessions my goal is to be clearer and more peaceful. You might set a different goal. Maybe you want to lessen pain or confusion. I encourage you to only keep it simple. And you can change your goal of you wish.
As they say in Thailand, “Up to you!”
Part two is how I practice.
I simply close my eyes and focus on breathing. When thoughts come I focus on breathing. There are two ways to ignore thoughts. One way is to speak gently to them and say, "I am breathing now." Another way is to simply ignore them and refocus on breathing.
Breathing is the only important thing Your thoughts, worries and desires can wait while you seek peace through breathing.
Simple, yes?
The difficulty might be your ego saying, “Not now, you’re too busy now. Later will be better.” You see, your ego does not want peace. It wants stimulation. It might have difficulty accepting being quiet for an hour or for fifteen minutes or even five. But it can always accept three deep breaths or fifteen seconds So, when I want peace I say, “ I will take three deep breaths.” Most of the time three becomes four and then many more but if I only take three I will have achieved my goal of being more peaceful. If more than three I will have exceeded the goal and achieve much more peace.
I encourage folk to begin their day with three deep breaths. If more than three then great! When you first awaken and are conscious of your location and before your mind begins it’s work of saying, “ You need to do this and don’t forget to do that and uh oh, this is coming…” , say to yourself, "I am awake and alive and I will take three breaths.” If you do this you will have created a small island of tranquility. This island of peace provides a transition from the peace of sleep to the busyness of life. You will have chosen to begin your day more peacefully and clearly. If you take more than three, then good.
Everyone who tries this says that it works.
It can be a simple and easy way to increase peace and clarity in your life.
Next, during the day when there is something bothering you, like worry or resentment or guilt or ANYthing, I encourage you to analyze your feeling and try to accept it. If it will not abate, try to to be conscious that you now have an option to this unpleasant feeling. You can take three deep breaths.
You might take more than three. Up to you. Create another island of tranquility. Practice this as many times during the day as you want. Create as many islands of peace as you feel that you need. With time and practice these islands can become connected and your life will become a flow of tranquility.
Sometimes it will difficult to let go of your thoughts and to begin to meditate. If my mind is too busy or too full and it is difficult to let go, I will take three quick puff breaths and then take a slow deep one and then another and so on.
Or I might give myself permission to think about one thing;. in the moment that I stop thinking about everything in an effort to choose, I will take a breath and then another and segue to thinking about nothing. I encourage you to find a way to choose peace when you know that you want it or when you feel you need it. Just choose. Just practice
I encourage you to set a goal of seven days practicing, one day at a time. At the end of a week if you feel better then practice for another week; check your feeling of progress regularly. Ignore your ego voice saying, You’re fine now you don’t need to practice more”. Or, “It’s too hard. It’s not worth it.”.
Practice at your own pace; in your own way. If you miss a session or even a whole day, no problem. Just begin again. Seven days is the goal. Progress not perfection is my daily goal.
A young woman said, “Before I practiced, I was terribly shy. Now I have confidence when speaking with others”. A young man told me, “After one week, my life is less of a stumble and is more of a flow”.
I do not know the way in which your life will change but I believe that it will change for the better if you choose to practice; if you create islands of peace and clarity.
MINDFULNESS and CONSCIOUS ACTION
I encourage people to select one of the many things that they might want to change and to take conscious action to address this thing; to make it their number one priority for one week. (not to the exclusion of everything else, of course.) Maybe your priority will be to diminish worry in your life. Maybe it will be to drink less or to eat less. Select a priority. Now take one step toward your chosen goal. It will be new and you might feel anxiety. This is a natural fear. It might seem to be too complicated. This is normal. Breathe for a moment. Now, think of a way to begin and then begin.
If your goal is diminish worry simply select one small worry and do something about it. For example, maybe you forgot to say thank you for a service that you were rendered. Simply say, Thank you. Or maybe you forgot to return a personal item which you borrowed. Return it. You will have taken a small step toward lessening worry. But what about all those other worries? Select another small worry that you can do something about then do something. Make progress today. Tomorrow, repeat your effort; in your way at your pace. Be satisfied that you are at last beginning to change your behavior and that with practice you will feel better about yourself.
With practice you will gain confidence because you will be experiencing success and gaining strength through your own efforts. It will be normal to feel pride. But do not let the flush of pride morph into a fever of illusion- the illusion that you don't need to practice any more. Try to take satisfaction from having done what you hoped would be good and it turned out well.
Now, return to your task.
At the end of a week you can look back and say, “I am better. I will continue to make progress.”. Also, at the end of a week, you might be ready to begin taking positive action on the next priority. It will be up to you. Only be mindful of maintaining awareness of your number one. Make sure that you can handle more work before committing yourself. I have addressed as many as five things at once, making good progress on all fronts; but I soon recognized that five was proving to be difficult to maintain so I reduced the number of my priorities.
Nothing was lost and later I added more work. It will be for you to choose. I only encourage you to begin. To take one step today and another tomorrow. With time and practice you will begin to change the way you feel about yourself and perhaps about others.
Meditate for clarity and peace.
Set a priority.
Today take a step toward change. Tomorrow take another. And so on. Rest when you must but do not abandon your practice. Rest but be prepared to return to work when you are refreshed.
This way has worked for me. I hope that it can work for you.
ACCEPTANCE
I try to accept everything and everyone just as they are. I accept that there are a few things which I can control and many others that I cannot.
I can only control myself; the words that I speak and the actions that I take are the only things which I can say that I control. The rest of the world is beyond my control so I don't worry too much about it. I invest my energy into changing myself. Into being kinder and more healing.
Although I might be the center of my own universe, I try to be aware that there are more than 7 billion other universes. If I feel disturbed by someone I have several options. First, I recognize that I am upset but that I do not need to speak until I am calm enough to be respectful and gentle. I will try to accept their behavior especially if it is not directed at me.
If I cannot accept, I can respectfully request that they change their actions. If they cannot or will not change I can thank them and return to trying to accept. If I still cannot accept I will probably leave the person’s area. This is a simple process and it works for me. When I feel disturbed by someone I immediately become aware that I have a process to follow. Accept. Ask for change. Leave. I take it one step at a time and maintain awareness that I am on step one: trying to accept. The difficulty for me lies in controlling my mouth while my ego is saying, “Say something! You are in pain and they need to know it!”. I try to be aware that my pain is not their responsibility. It is mine. If I want to diminish my pain I must first control the actions which might normally flow from it. I must not speak with anger. I must be aware that speaking angrily will only continue the endless cycle of pain-anger-revenge/pain-anger-revenge.If I decide that I must speak, I will try to speak in a gentle voice. It will be respectful. It will be in words which I would welcome hearing. Most people accept my request gratefully and sometimes express regret for their actions. At times, someone will ignore or reject my request and I will thank them and leave But if I am still angry, still in pain, then I take satisfaction in my exercise in self control; I could have hurt them but I chose not to. But I am still in pain. Okay. It is what it is but it doesn’t have to remain what it is I accept that pain is present. I am aware that it feels bad and serves no good purpose in that moment and I will let it go, either by simply ignoring it, starving it, giving it no energy, or by meditating for three breaths (15 seconds). When I am clear and tranquil I am usually left with only love for myself and for the other.
When I make an error and speak hurtfully I must accept responsibility for my choice. I could have been silent but I chose to speak. Then I resolve to be more conscious in the future. Also, I must express my apology to the person whom I had hurt.
And then I let it the guilt and confusion go and return to trying to live in harmony. Simple. Not easy at times.
Think about this way of dealing with sticky situations. The next time you feel yourself getting upset with someone try to not speak. Your ego will be screaming, “Say it!! They need to hear it!!”. This voice must be ignored. One of the most difficult things for me to do is to remain silent when I am hurt and angry. But words spoken in anger will be hurtful and maybe untrue. I encourage people to try to be conscious that they do not HAVE to speak. That silence sends a powerful message. It says, “I am hurt and angry but I am in control. I will not hurt you”.
It is better to not share my pain with someone.
To wait until I can speak gently.
LIVING IN THE MOMENT
Trying to live in the moment has allowed for me to slow my mind. The past is gone. The future is an illusion. That leaves, only this moment; this moment is the only one that I have to live in harmony or not, to speak the truth or not, to help or not. I want for every moment to be in harmony. The way that I practice is to be conscious that although it is normal and healthy for me to think of the past and to plan for the future it is not a good idea to spend more time in the past and in the future than I spend in the present. After all, the present is where I am. Is not this moment beautiful? If it is not I try to make it more beautiful in the moment.
I practice being mindful of where I am in the moment.
If I am in the past in order to learn a lesson, that is okay.
If I am in the past in order to relive a lovely memory that is okay. If I am in the past in order to punish myself for something which I cannot change, it is not okay. I recognize that although I might have made amends I still feel guilt. I have an option though. To let it go. My way of letting go is to meditate for a bit (usually three breaths or 15 seconds will do. ) When it comes again I repeat the process. Simple but not always easy.
When I find myself thinking about a plan for the future that is okay. When I think of a fear that something bad might occur I ask myself if there is something I can do to ensure that my fear doesn’t become reality. If yes, then I do it. If there is nothing that I can do then I accept that fear is present and serving no good purpose but that I have an option. Breathe. Let it go. For a minute or more if you choose. It’s okay to rest. Take a break. Return to addressing this fear when you feel stronger, more clear. Or you might see that the fear was baseless.
I now pass little time in the past and less in the future. With practice I am able now to let go of anything which I recognize as unhealthy. Practice is the key. Much practice leads to much progress. Little practice leads to at least some progress. Up to you. I encourage folk to try to seek a balanced approach. One that feels comfortable to you. Practice in your way at your pace.
If you decide to change your practice habits, it will be fine I am sure. Trying something new can be frightening and exciting. It can be like being at the top of a ten foot pole looking down fearfully because we must step off; but when we take that step we find that it was like stepping off of a curbstone!
Our fears are present only to slow us down not to paralyze us.
I encourage you only to consider being conscious of living in the moment a bit more. I believe that you will not regret it
WORRY
Would you like to begin to diminish the amount of worry in your life? I offer a simple way to begin. First try to be conscious that worry is different from concern. Worry usually begins as a concern which is neglected until it morphs into a worry. I encourage people to address their concerns so that they do not become worries. And to address their worries in order to begin to eliminate them. To begin the process of diminishing worry with the long term goal of eliminating totally you only need to take a step. Perhaps select one of the many worries that you have. Choose something small. Maybe you forgot to return something which you borrowed-a personal item or a small amount of money. Simply return what you borrowed. Maybe you neglected to thank someone for a favor or for a kindness they showed you. Simply find a way to say thank you. You will probably feel a sense of satisfaction but you will still have all those other pesky worries. No worries! Next select another worry which you can do something about; and do something. Make progress. With time and practice you will begin to diminish your worry. You will feel new confidence because you will have chosen to succeed. You will have decided to begin to take more control of your life. With time and patience the big things will seem to be much smaller and will simply be the next priority to address.
Little by little fear and worry will diminish until those things hopefully are no longer major factors in your life.
This way has worked for me. I hope that it can work for you.
RESENTMENT
Resentment can mean being angry with someone because they have caused us pain or discomfort
We might think about how to cause the other person to feel discomfort. It can be hard to let go of. Perhaps we have been slighted by an insensitive person and we want to hurt them. This is a normal reaction. We feel pain first followed by anger toward the source of the pain. Then we want revenge. The ego says, “Hurt them! They deserve it!!”. I have learned the value of not acting or speaking when I am in pain. I try to practice restraint. It is a habit which in the beginning was difficult to practice but now is usually easy. It required that I be conscious of my pain and anger. It required that I not speak when I am hurt or angry.
I must remember that it is my goal to not hurt anyone.
I must wait until I and calm enough to speak gently.
If I cannot control my anger I must politely take my leave. I am not perfect in this moment but I am much better now than before. Tomorrow I hope to be better.
TRUTH
For me everything flows from the truth. With the truth I am building on rock; without it I am building on sand.
With the truth I am never confused.
Without it I am wandering.
For me the truth is simply, what I know.
It is not what I believe or think could be or should be.
For example, I believe in a creator but I do not know it. If you tell me that it is raining outside I will believe you but until I see or feel the rain I do not know it.
I KNOW that when I speak the truth I am clear and confident and when I don’t then I am confused, guilty and fearful.
I have one simple guide regarding interaction with others. Try to speak the truth. Friend or enemy. Lover or stranger. Angry or passionate. Small thing or large. The truth without exception or change.
But the truth can be used to hurt or to appear wise.
I try to speak gently and respectfully. If I am unable to speak in this fashion I must try to not speak until I can. Simple. Not easy to live at times but it is always worth the effort. The truth can mean many things to many different people. For me the truth simply refers to what I know. It does not refer to what I believe nor to what could be. For instance, I believe in the depth of my being in a Creator. Do I know there is one? No. Others may differ. I respect all viewpoints. So, what do I know? I know only of my life. I know the words I have spoken in love and in anger. I know of the successes and the failures. The decisions made and those left beside the road. The people I have helped and those to who I hurt. I know that when I speak truthfully and gently that my conscience is clear. When I do not then it is not.
I know that when I share with others that I feel good. I know that when I withhold help because I judge someone to be undeserving then I feel bad.
I know that when I show respect to others that I feel confident and strong.
When I speak hurtful words I feel guilt, confusion and fear of retribution. .
I know that if I practice being aware that my words have consequences it follows me that my words become more respectful.
I know that if I practice meditation that I am clearer in my mind and more peaceful in my soul.
These things I know and they are my guides to peace of mind. Truth. Respect. Share. Be conscious of consequences. Meditate.
For me the truth is all important. If I do not face my truth I cannot know my truth I cannot speak my truth, cannot share my truth, cannot live my truth.
I encourage folk to begin their search for their truth by knowing what you want. Not what your family or friends or society wants for you to want. What do YOU want? This can be your first truth. Next perhaps assess whether your want is possible to achieve. If it is possible then think about what you will have to do in order to succeed. Then decide if you have the will to do what you would need to do. Ponder its possible consequences for others. If it all feels right then perhaps decide to act.
With respect, I offer counsel on how to increase the amount of truth that you speak.
The next time that you lie, ask yourself, could I have spoken the truth if I had not spoken so quickly? If the answer is yes, then resolve in that moment to try to be slower to speak when you know that a lie is coming. And the next time you don’t speak the truth repeat the process. Until it is a habit. Simple. Maybe not easy but always worth the effort and it has paid me handsome dividends in the diminishment of guilt, fear and confusion. Guilt for having lied, fear of discovery and confusion over how to deal with the consequences of the lie. If these things are lessened it follows that there will be more room for the good stuff like clarity and peace. I encourage folk to try to make speaking the truth a priority practice.With all of the lies in the world the only way I can change things is to try to speak the truth. To try to be the change that I want to see in the world, to focus less on the faults of others and to focus more on how I can be a better person.
SIMPLICITY
I have very few possessions other than a few clothes and the device that I use to communicate with others. Although I find some things to be very attractive to the eye and appealing to my nature I try to be conscious of want versus need. If your life is cluttered with possessions you might want to consider simplifying. I encourage folk to begin by selecting something that you own and deciding to go without it. A grooming article (comb, loufa, etc.) perhaps. Get rid of it. Maybe an article of clothing which could be used by someone. Give it to someone. Probably there are places nearby which would happy to accept clothing or an unused appliance. Begin small and build. Make progress today. Tomorrow make a bit more advancement and so on. Until you are living more simply.
I am conscious that I need three things only. Food. Water. Clothing. For me everything else is choice. For example, if I lost my right to sleep in my bed I would find shelter some where. If I have no money to buy food I can fast. When my ego says, “You really need that new shirt or anything”, I quickly remind myself that I might want it and that maybe I want it a lot but I don’t need it.
SPIRITUALITY
For me this term means a search for peace and clarity and pure love; it also means a search for answers to some of the great unknowables. Is there a god? How did I get here? Why am I here? Who am I? What happens when I die?.
IS THERE A GOD?
I believe in a creator to which men have given many names. Most men believe that their god is the one true god I believe in a god without name of which I am a part; that everything is a part of;. that god is not separate from me. My god is gentle and hard, compassionate and vengeful, peaceful and angry. My god is all things. I choose to believe that billions of planets didn’t just appear. I choose to believe in a creator who is aware that it was not in balance and, in an effort to achieve balance it created everything; maybe it was not peaceful enough, blinked ifs cosmic eye and boom!, created everything. This is all that I need to believe about god. After all, how can I know anything of the mind or the intent of an entity so powerful that it creates universes by it’s will?
My god knows it is not in balance and created all in an effort to be in balance. My god made it all and then let it go.
HOW DID I GET HERE?
Science says, "The Big Bang occured and billions of years of evolution resulted in "me". This is possible.
Religion says, "God created each and erroneous of us".
This is possible.
I believe that everything and everyone is simply energy in different form--you, me, the air, the mountains, the planets.
Energy in my fathers sperm met the energy in my mothers magical egg and became me, energy in this form. I cannot prove this but it is a simple possibility.
WHAT HAPPPENS WHEN "I". DIE?
I believe that the energy which is "me" rejoins the great energy in such a way that I am everything, everyone, everywhere all the time. I might pass through your mind for a moment. I might be in the smile of a baby. I might be in a drop of rain. I might be a microbe in the belly of a cockroach; but "Jimmy" will be gone.
I will be free again as I always was and perhaps always will be.
WHY AM I HERE?
I do not believe in a preordained destiny. I believe that it is for me to decide why I am here and then to try to live according to my decision. I have decided that my reason for living is to be at peace and to share it with others and by sharing with others I share with the creator and help it to be in balance. This makes sense to me. Obviously, I cannot prove its validity. I encourage folk to decide why they are here. If it is to help others then there are many ways to help. Just help. In your way and at your pace. Volunteer. Donate time, share something with someone-a hug, food , a smile. If your calling is to gain money then gain it in an honorable way and share some of it with others. If your reason is to create-art, music or other then simply create.
I encourage folk to choose a reason for living. If it is not clear to you in this moment that’s okay but try to live with honor in this moment. Speak the truth, share, be respectful. Until your reason for living becomes clear. Perhaps the reason will be simply to live with honor. I can think of no more noble reason for living.
WHO AM I?
I am called by the name Jimmy. I have been a father and a son and a teacher and an addict but those are things which I have been called or have done but WHO am I? I believe that at my root I am pure ego Ego only wants. First, of course, it wants to live. Next it wants to live in comfort. My ego also wants to be loved by all. It wants world peace and it wants security. It also wants revenge on those who hurt me. It wants chocolate cake and stylish clothes and cars and homes. It wants what it wants and it wants it now. But it for me to decide which wants are good healthy ones and which are bad unhealthy ones.
Wanting to share and to help are healthy.
Wanting revenge and control over others are not healthy.
I try to indulge the healthy and to ignore the unhealthy. Maybe your wants are different. Choose for yourself which are healthy and then perhaps indulge them. Choose which are not healthy and try not indulge them. If you have difficulty letting go of an unhealthy want then take three breaths.
Choose to nurture the healthy ones and to ignore or to starve the unhealthy.
LOVE
I do not recognize the terms 'romantic love' or maternal love or fraternal love. I believe in only love which humans attach conditions to. You might differ.
THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS
I cannot select the thoughts which occur in my mind. However, I can try to be conscious of healthy thoughts and of unhealthy ones. For instance, I might see a beautiful flower and then I might remember a beautiful garden that I once visited with a friend and that a stranger that we met had been rude and we had exchanged angry words and if I ever see him again I will let him know what a jerk he had been.
My thought had begun with beauty and had morphed into pain and anger.
I try to then think of something else.
If I am unable to let go of a bad thought then I must try to meditate for a bit until it is gone.
Also, I cannot choose the emotions that occur. I can try to be aware of healthy ones and of unhealthy ones.
For me, love, respect, compassion are healthy.
Anger, resentment and jealousy are not healthy. When an unhealthy emotion occurs I accept its presence, try to reason why it is there and if there is a valid reason, try to address it, to do something about it.
If there is no good reason then I must try to let it go. If there is difficulty in letting go then I must take a few deep breaths and allow for it to leave.
POLITICS
I have no politics. For me, all governments lie as do all humans, including me. It differs only in degree in my opinion. The USA is the most powerful now so I will address that country.
A few of the biggest lies of the USA government: The murder of JFK which to this day the government avers was the result of a single deranged shooter, when one view of the Zapruder film clearly discounts their lie. USA started Vietnam War based on a lie. Iraq ditto. And now Syria.
They spoke of honor and liberty and security when what they were after were resources, oil, and increased world power.
The governments speak of equality and justice for all. If you are white and male and have money you are “equal" and there is “justice”. If you are brown, woman or poor your justice is likely to be at least delayed if not postponed indefinitely. The hypocrisy is staggering not least because so many people still believe it. It is not just the USA. They are the biggest guy on the block now and they are the focus of attention. But all governments serve the elite class first. Most candidates for office intend to change the system but none deliver. Why? Because the system is rigged against change. The system is a rigged game. Smoke and mirrors. A shell game but with no pea to find. I do not invest one erg of my energy into trying to figure out how to make the ''system'' work because it is working the way it was intended to work.. It was designed by the wealthy for the wealthy. It is used now to divide us into groups-dem v rep, black v white, man vs. woman, Muslim vs. Christian, and on and on. It is in their interest to keep us divided and distracted by the latest 'emergency' or 'threat'. I reject their hypocrisy without rancor. They are following their self interest as we all do. Their self interest seems to be in preserving their power and privilege and above the law status. My self interest and that of others is in being at peace and sharing with brothers and sisters. I use all of my energy in being the change that I want to see. I don’t like lies so I try to speak the truth-to friend or enemy, in a respectful fashion. I don’t like greed. I try to share with all. I don’t like rudeness. I try to show respect to all. I don’t like discord. I seek peace within and share it with others. I have stopped counting the number of people who have told me that I changed their lives with my words. Although I know that I change nothing it is nice to hear and it tells me that I am having at least some small effect on the world while rejecting politics. If you are addicted to politics please consider that your addiction might be obscuring your vision. Please consider at least starting to wean yourself from this addiction. Perhaps begin with investing a little less energy in trying to fix a fundamentally flawed system. Perhaps investing a bit more energy in trying to be the change that you want to see in the world. Maybe stop looking to your leaders for virtue and start cultivating it more in yourself. If you have different opinions I respect them and will listen if you want to share. Although I am conscious of the murder and the rape and the abuse of innocent children and of the starvation and the oppression and the wars and the lies of the leaders, I ask myself, what can I do? My answer is always the same: Do what you can do. Help someone who you see. Share with those who have less than you: less food or love or ANYthing. Share peace and respect. Share the truth as you know it. Try to BE the change that you want to see in the world. Don't judge or criticize anyone or anything. Judge yourself. Change yourself. Heal yourself and share your healing with those around you. I can not eliminate suffering from the world. II can try to eliminate my own suffering and to help others diminish their. suffering.
JUDGING GOOD FOLK VERSUS BAD
Some folk and some books speak of the "good” folk and of the “bad” ones. I do not know any good people nor bad people. I see only people, all trying to do good and failing often.
Some appear to try harder than others but I try to judge noone. I try to assess only. For example, I try to assess if someone is truthful and respectful. If I determine that they are not these things I offer to share my observations, gently and respectfully. If my offer is accepted then I will share. If it is declined, I thank them for their time and leave.
ENERGY
I believe that we all have an amount of energy. Some call this a soul or their essence or divine presence. Whatever it’s name, there is something that makes me who I am; something that I use to think and to speak and to act. So, I try to be conscious of how I use my energy. I try to use it only to help.
I try to be aware that it is for me to decide how and on whom I invest it. Investing energy in anger, resentment, jealousy, sadness etc. is is usually not a good idea. I try to be conscious of my emotions and to decide if they are good investments or not. Good investments can be contemplated. Bad ones I recognize and give them no energy, no thought.
The first step for me is to try to control my words. If I am angry I try to not speak. This prevents me from sharing my anger. It gives me satisfaction that I chose to not hurt someone. If I still feel anger I try to let it go by breathing. I usually feel stronger, clearer more beautiful. With time and practice and acceptance I now find it easy most of the time. Perhaps it will become second nature. I encourage folk to consider this way.
HOW WE FUNCTION
First I experience something. A sound (of music or a loud bang) Maybe I next experience a feeling (pleasure or discomfort) Then I assess the feeling. Good or bad? If good I think about how to prolong it. If bad then I think about how to eliminate it.
I try to slow the process a bit. If I feel good I ask, "should I?" If I feel bad, "I ask should I?" I will analyze my emotion before deciding to prolong or to terminate it.
I will close this account with a few simple tips.
DRUGS/ALCOHOL
If you think that maybe you drink or drug too much then probably you are drinking or drugging too much.
I value clarity and peace of mind.
Therefore heroin, cocaine, opium, meth, huffing and alcohol are not my friends. Although they can provide temporary relief from pain and discomfort they can also become unhealthy means to escape our problems.
If you ingest any of these things now I strongly encourage you to stop now or at least to consider diminishing now, with the long term goal of eliminating. If you have tried to stop but you have difficulty please consider getting help. There are organizations and treatment centers which are free of cost.
Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, local hospitals. We are all human and we all need help sometimes.
Please do not be to proud to ask for help. Begin to heal yourself by joining the company of others who are trying to do the same.
If you choose AA or NA be aware that there will be good meetings and bad ones. Some might be too strict and others might seem too loosely goosey. If you find a meeting which is not to your liking simply choose another meeting until you find a group which will be to your liking.
NO DEBATE.NO ARGUMENT
I will not argue nor will I debate. I will share my view respectfully, perhaps with passion and if someone responds with respect we will have a discussion. If they respond with ego, I will usually thank them and leave. Arguing is about forcing someone to see my version. Debating is about trying to prove that I am right. Since we are speaking of our belief only, how can I be right or wrong. I try to speak only to shed light or to offer a different view.
SOLVE PROBLEMS?
If I have confusion about how to address a problem it can be helpful to imagine what I would say to a loved one who has this problem.
There will be my solution!
Try it please and see for yourself.
IN A RUSH?
If you are in a rush today maybe you didn’t plan well. If you’re in a rush usually maybe you are not living well.
Stress can be very unhealthy. Try to leave time to do things well. Try to slow down a bit. When eating, try to chew your food thoroughly and be aware of the changing taste and textures. When walking somewhere try to not rush.
WANT FEWER ENEMIES?
Make peace with the old ones. Don’t make new ones.
BALANCE
I am a human being. I am comprised of three elements:. Mind, body and spirit or emotion. I try to maintain balance in all. I try to think healthy thoughts; to eat healthy foods, exercise, stay hydrated. I try to indulge only healthy emotions.
A Secret Regarding Women
I have scores of beautiful women friends. I am a bit in love with them all and if any of them ask, "Will you sleep with me?" I will briefly consider the question and have answered, "Yes."
The key is that whenever I meet a woman I regard her as a potential new friend. When my male libido revs up I simply remind myself that this person is possibly a new friend; listen to her words. Respond to them not with a goal of bedding her. Respond with respect and attention. When the libido starts up again, I simply ignore it again and remind myself that this is possibly a new friend. I am a man. My nature is to desire women. But I try to not let my nature dictate my thoughts, words or actions. I try to be aware that if romance comes it is best preceded by friendship. This is a simple discipline to adopt. Not an easy one to live. I am a man.
But I now have many beautiful friends who love me and seem to enjoy my company. Try it pleas
It is my hope that some of what I have written will resonate with you. Please feel free to email me at_____